Benign Neglect Imperils Children after a Disaster

Contributed by Judy Bezon

Associate Director Children’s Disaster Services

 

The Plight of Children after a Disaster

Disasters happen. The news is filled with stories about loss of homes, of jobs, of family members. Interviews document the heroic courage of the survivors and rescue workers, but do we hear about the children? There are no stories about their experience of the disaster.

Parents are scrambling to cope with their feelings about the destruction they have experienced and meet their family’s rudimentary needs. Did our family and friends survive? What will we eat? How will we replace our clothes? Where will we live? Do I still have a job? With such essential tasks ahead of them there is little emotional energy left to notice or address the needs of their children.

They see their children playing, as do the relief workers. Often we, as adults, watch them at play and wish that we were as carefree as they are. The play makes it seem that they are not impacted by the disaster, and it makes us wish that we were young again and were blissfully unaware of the real-life and long-term consequences of the disaster and what it will take to recover our former way of life.

But are the children really carefree and blissful? It is obvious that carefree bliss is not their state of mind when we take a look at their play and listen to what they have to say about it. A baby bed looks like typical doll play, but a year and a half after Katrina, a girl told the Children’s Disaster Services (CDS) volunteer that she’d “built it up high to stay out of the water.” A couple of days later, boys started using the toy tools and “fixing” all the tables and chairs in the CDS center. It makes sense. Their world is broken and they are emulating all they see around them— people attempting to fix their world. During a stay in an American Red Cross evacuation shelter for Hurricane Gustav, a 5-year-old girl made a three-sided box of Lego Duplo blocks. Again, it looked like pretty typical play until she put a sign on it that said, “Homeless Shelter” and another with “Welcome, Come In.” It doesn’t take much imagination to figure out that she was feeling homeless, but welcome.

Parents’ failure to notice the needs of children is understandable, as they attempt to cope with the crisis. Relief workers and others are working as hard as they can to care for the survivors and give the community what it needs to get up and running. Even though adults think they are doing well, children have worries and concerns that shake them to the core, but they do not have the language to ask questions about their situation or voice their worries about the future. Will the disaster happen again? Will someone I love be hurt? Who will take care of me? These are a child’s typical concerns and they have no experience with such devastating events to be able to look forward to a time when their situation will improve. They believe that the situation they are in is permanent. In addition, they do not realize that sharing their concerns with an understanding adult could ease their fears and improve their outlook.

The Risks to Children

Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can be found in as many as 30–60 percent of children who have survived disasters. This is 10 times higher than the incidence of PTSD in teens who have survived the same disaster (3–6 percent), clearly indicating that children develop this disorder at a significantly higher rate. When an event is unexpected and uncontrollable, as a disaster is, children who have previously experienced a traumatic event have an even greater risk of developing PTSD.

Common Measures that Promote a Child’s Recovery

Young children need to reconnect with familiar things. A consistent routine or schedule goes a long way to helping restore a sense of normalcy. Reassurances of safety and the family’s cohesion are helpful, as are explanations of the disaster and the family’s situation that are appropriate to the child’s age. Children also need honest, age-appropriate answers to their questions that do not scare them, opportunities to play, and someone that understands their needs and can pay attention to their concerns.

For some young children a process called magical thinking creates the feeling that they are responsible for the disaster. If I did something before the disaster (for example fighting with a sibling or disobeying parents) the disaster is my fault. If these thoughts are present, children need reassurance that the disaster was not their fault. For these thoughts to be discovered, children need time with an adult they trust who understands their needs and can listen. At times, these concerns are expressed indirectly through play.

As children grow into teens, their needs and concerns shift. They need an opportunity to express their concerns and information from reliable sources at a level they can comprehend. For teens, their peer group is of primary importance, which makes time with peers critical to their recovery. An empathic listener is of vital importance at this age, too.

As teens mature into adults, they need to feel useful. Forming a supervised workgroup that includes their peers can engage them in meaningful work related to disaster recovery and meet two of their needs through one activity. Although peer time is important, if groups of teens cannot be arranged, teens could work with adult groups at disaster cleanup, construction, or other recovery tasks. It is important that this work is not “make work” such as picking up litter around a shelter, but work that is genuinely needed, that others would have to do to help the community recover.

For more information on Disaster Recovery and Preparedness, contact the Georgia Recovery Project at 706.225.9262 or georgiarecoveryproject@yahoo.com. Be sure to “like” us on facebook www.facebook.com/georgiarecoveryproject and subscribe to our blog, www.georgiarecoveryproject.wordpress.com

Tornado Recovery Expos

 

The Georgia Recovery Project is sponsoring three Tornado Recovery Expos in Walker, Catoosa, and Dade Counties.

 

The first expo will take place Tuesday, February 7th, at 6:00 pm. The event will be held at Ringgold United Methodist Church 7484 Nashville Street,  Ringgold, GA 30736.

The second expo will take place Thursday, February 9th, at 6:00 pm. The event will be held at Oakwood Baptist Church 115 Oakwood Street, Chickamauga, GA 30703.

The third expo will take place Monday, February 13th, at 6:00 pm. The event will be held at Trenton United Methodist Church 12500 North Main Street, Trenton, GA 30752.

A variety of Organizations and Vendors will provide information about:

• Financial assistance for tornado related home repairs, bills, and other immediate needs
• Home or rental insurance
• Medical or mental health assistance
• Parenting skills for how to help children cope
• Accessing food, clothing, & personal items
• Stress & anxiety relief for adults, children, and pets
• Community educational & support groups
• Preparing for the 2012 storm season

 

 

DOOR PRIZES!!!!!

Dinner and Childcare Provided!

 

For more information contact Georgia Recovery Project

Georgia Recovery Project:  (706) 225-9262

Email:  georgiarecoveryproject@yahoo.com

Facebook:  www.facebook.com/georgiarecoveryproject

Blog:  www. georgiarecoveryproject.wordpress.com

Returning Home After Disaster Relief Work

Increasing attention is being paid to the challenges that recovery workers face as they perform their work and then return to their families and pre-deployment duties. As a family member of an emergency or disaster response worker, you have faced your own challenges in keeping your family functioning while a loved one is away. This article contains useful information to help you reunite with a deployed family member.

Returning Home

Reunions following deployment are usually eagerly anticipated by all. However, they are sometimes more complicated than we may think. When welcoming a loved one who is returning from disaster relief work, keep the following in mind:

• Homecoming is more than an event; it is a process of reconnection for your family and loved one.

• Though coming home represents a return to safety, security, and return to “normal,” the routines at home are markedly different than life in a disaster zone.

• In your loved one’s absence, you and your family members have assumed many roles and functions that may have to now be renegotiated. Be patient during this period and recognize that many things do not return, at least immediately, to what they previously were like.

• Go slowly. Your returning loved one, you, and your family need time—time together if possible—before exposure to the demands of the larger community, friends, extended family, and coworkers.

Adjusting to Life at Home

In the disaster environment, it is common to talk about things that may be upsetting to people not directly involved (e.g., dead bodies, graphic images). Extreme care should be taken by returning family members (monitored by loved ones) to ensure that relating experiences does not unnecessarily upset or traumatize others. This is especially important in discussing the experience with, or in the presence of, children.

• Celebrating a homecoming is important and should reflect your own family’s style, preferences, and traditions.

• Talking about disaster experiences is a personal and delicate subject. Many people prefer to share such experiences with a coworker or friend. Some may want to talk at length about their experience. Sometimes the need/desire to talk about experiences will vacillate a great deal. Let your returning loved one take the lead. Listening rather than asking questions is the guiding rule.

• Keeping your social calendar fairly free and flexible for the first weeks after the homecoming is wise. Respect the need for time alone and time with especially important people such as spouses. Explain to those who may feel slighted that this is a normal requirement of returning personnel.

• Your loved one may need time to adjust to the local time zone, as well as environmental changes such as continuous noise or interruption.

• Your children’s reactions may not be what you or the returning loved one may have expected or desired. Very often children will act shy at first. Older children may feel and act angry because of their parent’s absence. Be patient and understanding concerning reactions and give them time to get reacquainted.

• Be flexible with reasonable expectations. It is normal to experience some disappointment or let down when homecomings are not what you had hoped. The reality of homecoming and reunion seldom match one’s fantasies and preconceived scenarios.

First Things First…

Before most recovery workers are ready to return to normal work and family duties, it is important to meet some basic needs that are often neglected during disaster deployment. These include the following:

• Maintaining a healthy diet, routine exercise, and adequate rest/sleep

• Spending time with family and friends

• Paying attention to health concerns

• Meeting neglected daily personal tasks (e.g., pay bills, mow lawn, shop for groceries)

• Reflecting upon what the experience has meant personally and professionally

• Getting involved in personal and family preparedness.

Signs of Stress

Following is a list that you may find helpful in identifying signs of stress in your family or returning loved one, including:

• Anxiety, fear

• Grief, guilt, self-doubt, sadness

• Irritability, anger, resentment, increased conflicts with friends/family

• Increased use of alcohol or other drugs

• Feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, despair, depressed

• Anticipation of harm to self or others; isolation or social withdrawal

• Insomnia

• Gait change

• Hyper-vigilance; startle reactions

• Crying easily

• Gallows/morbid humor

• Ritualistic behavior

• Memory loss, anomia (i.e., difficulty naming objects or people)

• Calculation difficulties; decisionmaking difficulties

• Confusion in general and/or confusing trivial with major issues

• Concentration problems/distractibility

• Reduced attention span and/or preoccupation with disaster

• Recurring dreams or nightmares

• Fatigue

• Nausea

• Fine motor tremors

• Tics or muscle twitches

• Paresthesia (e.g., numbness and tingling in extremities)

• Profuse sweating

• Dizziness

• Stomach or gastrointestinal upset

• Heart Palpitations/fluttering

• Choking or smothering sensation

• Intrusive thoughts

• Relationship problems

• Job/school-related problems

• Decreased libido/sexual interest

• Appetite change

• Overly critical, blaming

• Decreased immune response.

Possible Redeployment

Leaving home once again and returning to the site of a disaster or other location is stressful for everybody. It is a sad time, and it is natural to feel sad, even to cry. You have drawn close once again and begun to establish routines. Your loved one may psychologically and/or emotionally distance himself/herself in preparation for leaving. Try to understand if this happens.

At the time of departure, it is important that you let your loved one know how proud you are of their sacrifice, and their commitment to their job and country. Expressing pride while saying goodbye is positive, and will strengthen you, your children and other family members, and the departing family member.

When to Seek Help

Remember, pre- or post-deployment stress is a normal reaction to abnormal situations like disasters. If you or a deployed family member experiences the following signs of persistent or severe stress, seek help from a licensed mental health professional.

• Disorientation (e.g., dazed, memory loss, unable to give date/time or recall recent events)

• Depression (e.g., pervasive feeling of hopelessness and despair, withdrawal from others)

• Anxiety (e.g., constantly on edge, restless, obsessive fear of another disaster)

• Acute psychiatric symptoms (e.g., hearing voices, seeing visions, delusional thinking)

• Inability to care for self (e.g., not eating, bathing, changing clothing, or handling daily life)

• Suicidal or homicidal thoughts or plans

• Problematic use of alcohol or drugs

• Domestic violence, child abuse, or elder abuse

 

*If you or someone you know is experiencing any of the above signs of persistent or severe stress, please contact the Georgia Recovery Project at 706.225.926 or georgiarecoveryproject@yahoo.com

 

*The above article (A Post-Deployment Guide for Families of Emergency and Disaster Response Workers) can be found on Samhsa’s website by clicking here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BCS Championship Game Donation

Make a donation for a chance to win a pair of tickets to the BCS Championship game between Alabama and LSU on January 9th in New Orleans. Tickets are $20 with all proceeds benefiting the Dade Organization Acting in Disaster (DOAD). Tickets may be purchased December 23rd – January 4th. One winner will be selected at random on January 5th.

About DOAD:
DOAD represents relief efforts from the series of April tornadoes in Dade County, GA and the northeastern Alabama counties of Jackson and DeKalb. Funds generated from the ticket raffle will help rebuild and repair homes, purchase furniture and household goods, and provide additional needed support for tornado victims. DOAD is based in Trenton, GA and may be contacted at 706-657-3233

Click here to enter for a chance to win!

 

 

In the Wake of Trauma: Tips for College Students

Whether or not you were directly affected by a traumatic event, it is normal to feel anxious about your own safety, to picture the event in your own mind, and to wonder how you would react in an emergency. People react in different ways to trauma. Some may become irritable or depressed; others lose sleep or have nightmares; and others may deny their feelings or simply “blank out” the troubling event. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to feel after experiencing trauma. While it may feel better to pretend the event did not happen, in the long run, it is best to be honest about your feelings and to allow yourself to acknowledge the sense of loss and uncertainty. It is important to realize that, while things may seem off balance for a while, your life will return to normal. It is also important to talk with someone about your sorrow, anger, and other emotions, even though it may be difficult to get started. You may feel most comfortable talking about your feelings with a professor, counselor, or church leader. The important thing is to share your feelings with someone you trust. If you don’t have someone to confide in, contact the Georgia Recovery Project at 706.225.9262 or georgiarecoveryproject@yahoo.com for someone who will listen. While you will always remember the event, the painful feelings will decrease over time, and you will come to understand that, in learning to cope with tragedy, you have become stronger, more adaptable, and more self-reliant.

Tips for Coping

• Talk about it. Talking with friends, classmates, professors, and family members will help you realize that you are not alone in your feelings.
• Limit media viewing. Take breaks from watching news coverage of the event.
• Take care of yourself. Taking good physical care of yourself with rest, exercise, and healthy eating will help your body to deal with stress. Do activities that you enjoy and find relaxing.
• Avoid excess. Avoid using alcohol, drugs, and tobacco products as a way of dealing with stress.
• Resume routines. Getting back to your daily routines in life can be a good method for regaining a sense of control.
• Get involved. Engaging in positive activities like group discussions and candlelight vigils can help promote comfort and healing.

For more info. on dealing with trauma-related stress or just someone to listen to your story, please contact the Georgia Recovery Project at 706.225.9262 or georgiarecvoeryproject@yahoo.com

 

 

U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration Center for Mental Health Services www.samhsa.gov

Helping Children Cope with Disaster

Disasters can leave children feeling frightened, confused, and insecure. Whether a child has personally experienced trauma, has merely seen the event on television or has heard it discussed by adults, it is important for parents and teachers to be informed and ready to help if reactions to stress begin to occur.

Children may respond to disaster by demonstrating fears, sadness or behavioral problems. Younger children may return to earlier behavior patterns, such as bedwetting, sleep problems and separation anxiety. Older children may also display anger, aggression, school problems or withdrawal. Some children who have only indirect contact with the disaster but witness it on television may develop distress.

Recognize Risk Factors

For many children, reactions to disasters are brief and represent normal reactions to “abnormal events.” A smaller number of children can be at risk for more enduring psychological distress as a function of three major risk factors:

• Direct exposure to the disaster, such as being evacuated, observing injuries or death of others, or experiencing injury along with fearing one’s life is in danger.
• Loss/grief: This relates to the death or serious injury of family or friends.
• On-going stress from the secondary effects of disaster, such as temporarily living elsewhere, loss of friends and social networks, loss of personal property, parental unemployment, and costs incurred during recovery to return the family to pre-disaster life and living conditions.

Vulnerabilities in Children

In most cases, depending on the risk factors above, distressing responses are temporary. In the absence of severe threat to life, injury, loss of loved ones, or secondary problems such as loss of home, moves, etc., symptoms usually diminish over time. For those that were directly exposed to the disaster, reminders of the disaster such as high winds, smoke, cloudy skies, sirens, or other reminders of the disaster may cause upsetting feelings to return. Having a prior history of some type of traumatic event or severe stress may contribute to these feelings.

Children’s coping with disaster or emergencies is often tied to the way parents cope. They can detect adults’ fears and sadness. Parents and adults can make disasters less traumatic for children by taking steps to manage their own feelings and plans for coping. Parents are almost always the best source of support for children in disasters. One way to establish a sense of control and to build confidence in children before a disaster is to engage and involve them in preparing a family disaster plan. After a disaster, children can contribute to a family recovery plan.

Meeting the Child’s Emotional Needs

Children’s reactions are influenced by the behavior, thoughts, and feelings of adults. Adults should encourage children and adolescents to share their thoughts and feelings about the incident. Clarify misunderstandings about risk and danger by listening to children’s concerns and answering questions. Maintain a sense of calm by validating children’s concerns and perceptions and with discussion of concrete plans for safety.

Listen to what the child is saying. If a young child is asking questions about the event, answer them simply without the elaboration needed for an older child or adult. Some children are comforted by knowing more or less information than others; decide what level of information your particular child needs. If a child has difficulty expressing feelings, allow the child to draw a picture or tell a story of what happened.

Try to understand what is causing anxieties and fears. Be aware that following a disaster, children are most afraid that:

• The event will happen again.
• Someone close to them will be killed or injured.
• They will be left alone or separated from the family.

Reassuring Children After a Disaster

Suggestions to help reassure children include the following:

• Personal contact is reassuring. Hug and touch your children.
• Calmly provide factual information about the recent disaster and current plans for insuring their safety along with recovery plans.
• Encourage your children to talk about their feelings.
• Spend extra time with your children such as at bedtime.
• Re-establish your daily routine for work, school, play, meals, and rest.
• Involve your children by giving them specific chores to help them feel they are helping to restore family and community life.
• Praise and recognize responsible behavior.
• Understand that your children will have a range of reactions to disasters.
• Encourage your children to help update your a family disaster plan.

If you have tried to create a reassuring environment by following the steps above, but your child continues to exhibit stress, if the reactions worsen over time, or if they cause interference with daily behavior at school, at home, or with other relationships, it may be appropriate to talk to a professional. You can get professional help from the child’s primary care physician, a mental health provider specializing in children’s needs, or a member of the clergy.

Monitor and Limit Exposure to the Media

News coverage related to a disaster may elicit fear and confusion and arouse anxiety in children. This is particularly true for large-scale disasters or a terrorist event where significant property damage and loss of life has occurred. Particularly for younger children, repeated images of an event may cause them to believe the event is recurring over and over.

If parents allow children to watch television or use the Internet where images or news about the disaster are shown, parents should be with them to encourage communication and provide explanations. This may also include parent’s monitoring and appropriately limiting their own exposure to anxiety-provoking information.

Use Support Networks

Parents help their children when they take steps to understand and manage their own feelings and ways of coping. They can do this by building and using social support systems of family, friends, community organizations and agencies, faith-based institutions, or other resources that work for that family. Parents can build their own unique social support systems so that in an emergency situation or when a disaster strikes, they can be supported and helped to manage their reactions. As a result, parents will be more available to their children and better able to support them. Parents are almost always the best source of support for children in difficult times. But to support their children, parents need to attend to their own needs and have a plan for their own support.

Preparing for disaster helps everyone in the family accept the fact that disasters do happen, and provides an opportunity to identify and collect the resources needed to meet basic needs after disaster. Preparation helps; when people feel prepared, they cope better and so do children.

A Child’s Reaction to Disaster by Age

Below are common reactions in children after a disaster or traumatic event.

Birth through 2 years. When children are pre-verbal and experience a trauma, they do not have the words to describe the event or their feelings. However, they can retain memories of particular sights, sounds, or smells. Infants may react to trauma by being irritable, crying more than usual, or wanting to be held and cuddled. The biggest influence on children of this age is how their parents cope. As children get older, their play may involve acting out elements of the traumatic event that occurred several years in the past and was seemingly forgotten.

Preschool – 3 through 6 years. Preschool children often feel helpless and powerless in the face of an overwhelming event. Because of their age and small size, they lack the ability to protect themselves or others. As a result, they feel intense fear and insecurity about being separated from caregivers. Preschoolers cannot grasp the concept of permanent loss. They can see consequences as being reversible or permanent. In the weeks following a traumatic event, preschoolers’ play activities may reenact the incident or the disaster over and over again.

School age – 7 through 10 years. The school-age child has the ability to understand the permanence of loss. Some children become intensely preoccupied with the details of a traumatic event and want to talk about it continually. This preoccupation can interfere with the child’s concentration at school and academic performance may decline. At school, children may hear inaccurate information from peers. They may display a wide range of reactions — sadness, generalized fear, or specific fears of the disaster happening again, guilt over action or inaction during the disaster, anger that the event was not prevented, or fantasies of playing rescuer.

Pre-adolescence to adolescence – 11 through 18 years. As children grow older, they develop a more sophisticated understanding of the disaster event. Their responses are more similar to adults. Teenagers may become involved in dangerous, risk-taking behaviors, such as reckless driving, or alcohol or drug use. Others can become fearful of leaving home and avoid previous levels of activities. Much of adolescence is focused on moving out into the world. After a trauma, the view of the world can seem more dangerous and unsafe. A teenager may feel overwhelmed by intense emotions and yet feel unable to discuss them with others.

Understanding the Effects of Trauma

For many years, the traumatic things that happened to people were overlooked as a possible cause of frightening, distressing, and sometimes disabling emotional symptoms such as depression, anxiety, phobias, delusions, flashbacks, and being out of touch with reality. In recent years, many researchers and health care providers have become convinced of the connection between trauma and these symptoms. They are develop- ing new treatment programs and revising old ones to better meet the needs of people who have had traumatic experiences.

This article can help you to know if traumatic experiences in your life may be causing some or all of the difficult symptoms you are experiencing. It may give you some guidance in working to relieve these symptoms and share with you some simple and safe things you can do to help yourself heal from the effects of trauma.

Some examples of traumatic experiences that may be causing your symptoms include —

¤ physical, emotional, or sexual abuse

¤ neglect

¤ war experiences

¤ outbursts of temper and rage

¤ alcoholism (your own or in your family)

¤ physical illnesses, surgeries, and disabilities

¤ sickness in your family

¤ loss of close family members and friends

¤ natural disasters

¤ accidents

Some things that may be very traumatic to one person hardly seem to bother another person. If something bothers you a lot and it doesn’t bother someone else, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. People respond to experiences differently.

Do you feel that traumatic things that happened to you may be causing some or all of your distressing and disabling emotional symptoms? Examples of symptoms that may be caused by trauma include —

¤ anxiety

¤ insomnia

¤ agitation

¤ irritability or rage

¤ flashbacks or intrusive memories

¤ feeling disconnected from the world

¤ unrest in certain situations

¤ being “shut down”

¤ being very passive

¤ feeling depressed

¤ eating problems

¤ needing to do certain things over and over

¤ unusual fears

¤ impatience

¤ always having to have things a certain way

¤ doing strange or risky things

¤ having a hard time concentrating

¤ wanting to hurt yourself

¤ being unable to trust anyone

¤ feeling unlikable

¤ feeling unsafe

¤ using harmful substances

¤ keeping to yourself

¤ overworking

Perhaps you have been told that you have a psychiatric or mental illness like depression, bipolar disorder or manic depression, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, obsessive—compulsive disorder, dissociative disorder, an eating disorder, or an anxiety disorder. The ways you can help yourself handle these symptoms and the things your health care providers suggest as treatment may be helpful whether your symptoms are caused by trauma or by a psychiatric illness.

Help From Health Care Providers, Counselors and Groups

You may decide to reach out to health care providers for assistance in relieving the effects of trauma. This is a good idea. The effects of trauma, even trauma that happened many years ago, can affect your health. You may have an illness that needs treatment. In addition, your health care provider may suggest that you take medications or certain food supplements to relieve your symptoms. Many people find that getting this kind of health care support gives them the relief and energy they need to work on other aspects of healing. To find health care providers in your community who have expertise in addressing issues related to trauma, contact your local mental health agency, hospital, or crisis service.

If you possibly can, work with a counselor or in a special program designed for people who have been traumatized. A counselor or people leading the program may refer you to a group. These groups can be very helpful. However, keep in mind that you need to decide for yourself what you are going to do, and how and when you are going to do it. You must be in charge of your recovery in every way.

Wherever you go for help, the program or treatment should include the following:

Empowerment–You must be in charge of your healing in every way to counteract the effects of the trauma where all control was taken away from you.

Validation–You need others to listen to you, to validate the importance of what happened to you, to bear witness, and to understand the role of this trauma in your life.

Connection–Trauma makes you feel very alone. As part of your healing, you need to reconnect with others. This connection may be part of your treatment.

If you feel the cause of your symptoms is related to trauma in your life, you will want to be careful about your treatment and in making decisions about other areas of your life.

The following guidelines will help you decide how to help yourself feel better.

Have hope. It is important that you know that you can and will feel better. In the past you may have thought you would never feel better—that the horrible symptoms you experience would go on for the rest of your life. Many people who have experienced the same symptoms that you are experiencing are now feeling much better. They have gone on to make their lives the way they want them to be and to do the things they want to do.

Take personal responsibility. When you have been traumatized, you lose control of your life. You may feel as though you still don’t have any control over your life. You begin to take back that control by being in charge of every aspect of your life. Others, including your spouse, family members, friends, and health care professionals will try to tell you what to do. Before you do what they suggest, think about it carefully. Do you feel that it is the best thing for you to do right now? If not, do not do it. You can follow others advice, but be aware that you are choosing to do so. It is important that you make decisions about your own life. You are responsible for your own behavior. Being traumatized is not an acceptable excuse for behavior that hurts you or hurts others.

Talk to one or more people about what happened to you. Telling others about the trauma is an important part of healing the effects of trauma. Make sure the person or people you decide to tell are safe people, people who would not hurt you, and who understand that what happened to you is serious. They should know, or you could tell them, that describing what happened to you over and over is an important part of the healing process. Don’t tell a person who responds with statements that invalidate your experience, like “That wasn’t so bad.” “You should just forget about it,” “Forgive and forget,” or “You think that’s bad, let me tell you what happened to me.” They don’t understand. In connecting with others, avoid spending all your time talking about your traumatic experiences. Spend time listening to others and sharing positive life experiences, like going to movies or watching a ball game together. You will know when you have described your trauma enough, because you won’t feel like doing it anymore.

Develop a close relationship with another person. You may not feel close to or trust anyone. This may be a result of your traumatic experiences. Part of healing means trusting people again. Think about the person in your life that you like best. Invite them to do something fun with you. If that feels good, make a plan to do something else together at another time—maybe the following week. Keep doing this until you feel close to this person. Then, without giving up on that person, start developing a close relationship with another person. Keep doing this until you have close relationships with at least five people. Support groups and peer support centers are good places to meet people.

Things You Can Do Every Day to Help Yourself Feel Better

There are many things that happen every day that can cause you to feel ill, uncomfortable, upset, anxious, or irritated. You will want to do things to help yourself feel better as quickly as possible, without doing anything that has negative consequences, for example, drinking, committing crimes, hurting yourself, risking your life, or eating lots of junk food.

¤ Read through the following list. Check off the ideas that appeal to you and give each of them a try when you need to help yourself feel better. Make a list of the ones you find to be most useful, along with those you have successfully used in the past, and hang the list in a prominent place—like on your refrigerator door-as a reminder at times when you need to comfort yourself. Use these techniques whenever you are having a hard time or as a special treat to yourself.

¤ Do something fun or creative, something you really enjoy, like crafts, needlework, painting, drawing, woodworking, making a sculpture, reading fiction, comics, mystery novels, or inspirational writings, doing crossword or jigsaw puzzles, playing a game, taking some photographs, going fishing, going to a movie or other community event, or gardening.

¤ Get some exercise. Exercise is a great way to help yourself feel better while improving your overall stamina and health. The right exercise can even be fun.

¤ Write something. Writing can help you feel better. You can keep lists, record dreams, respond to questions, and explore your feelings. All ways are correct. Don’t worry about how well you write. It’s not important. It is only for you. Writing about the trauma or traumatic events also helps a lot. It allows you to safely process the emotions you are experiencing. It tells your mind that you are taking care of the situation and helps to relieve the difficult symptoms you may be experiencing. Keep your writings in a safe place where others cannot read them. Share them only with people you feel comfortable with. You may even want to write a letter to the person or people who have treated you badly, telling them how it affected you, and not send the letter.

¤ Use your spiritual resources. Spiritual resources and making use of these resources varies from person to person. For some people it means praying, going to church, or reaching out to a member of the clergy. For others it is meditating or reading affirmations and other kinds of inspirational materials. It may include rituals and ceremonies—whatever feels right to you. Spiritual work does not necessarily occur within the bounds of an organized religion. Remember, you can be spiritual without being religious.

¤ Do something routine. When you don’t feel well, it helps to do something “normal”—the kind of thing you do every day or often, things that are part of your routine like taking a shower, wash- ing your hair, making yourself a sandwich, calling a friend or family member, making your bed, walking the dog, or getting gas in the car.

¤ Wear something that makes you feel good. Everybody has certain clothes or jewelry that they enjoy wearing. These are the things to wear when you need to comfort yourself.

¤ Get some little things done. It always helps you feel better if you accomplish something, even if it is a very small thing. Think of some easy things to do that don’t take much time. Then do them. Here are some ideas: clean out one drawer, put five pictures in a photo album, dust a book case, read a page in a favorite book, do a load of laundry, cook yourself something healthful, send someone a card.

¤ Learn something new. Think about a topic that you are interested in but have never explored. Find some information on it in the library. Check it out on the Internet. Go to a class. Look at something in a new way. Read a favorite saying, poem, or piece of scripture, and see if you can find new meaning in it.

¤ Do a reality check. Checking in on what is really going on rather than responding to your initial “gut reaction” can be very helpful. For instance, if you come in the house and loud music is playing, it may trigger the thinking that someone is playing the music just to annoy you. The initial reaction is to get really angry with them. That would make both of you feel awful. A reality check gives the person playing the loud music a chance to look at what is really going on. Per- haps the person playing the music thought you wouldn’t be in until later and took advantage of the opportunity to play loud music. If you would call upstairs and ask him to turn down the music so you could rest, he probably would say, “Sure!” It helps if you can stop yourself from jumping to conclusions before you check the facts.

¤ Be present in the moment. This is often referred to as mindfulness. Many of us spend so much time focusing on the future or thinking about the past that we miss out on fully experiencing what is going on in the present. Making a conscious effort to focus your attention on what you are doing right now and what is happening around you can help you feel better. Look around at nature. Feel the weather. Look at the sky when it is filled with stars.

¤ Stare at something pretty or something that has special meaning for you. Stop what you are doing and take a long, close look at a flower, a leaf, a plant, the sky, a work of art, a souvenir from an adventure, a picture of a loved one, or a picture of yourself. Notice how much better you feel after doing this.

¤ Play with children in your family or with a pet. Romping in the grass with a dog, petting a kitten, reading a story to a child, rocking a baby, and similar activities have a calming effect which translates into feeling better.

¤ Do a relaxation exercise. There are many good books available that describe relaxation exercises. Try them to discover which ones you prefer. Practice them daily. Use them whenever you need to help yourself feel better. Relaxation tapes which feature relaxing music or nature sounds are available. Just listening for 10 minutes can help you feel better.

¤ Take a warm bath. This may sound simplistic, but it helps. If you are lucky enough to have access to a Jacuzzi or hot tub, it’s even better. Warm water is relaxing and healing.

¤ Expose yourself to something that smells good to you. Many people have discovered fragrances that help them feel good. Sometimes a bouquet of fragrant flowers or the smell of fresh baked bread will help you feel better.

¤ Listen to music. Pay attention to your sense of hearing by pampering yourself with delightful music you really enjoy. Libraries often have records and tapes available for loan. If you enjoy music, make it an essential part of every day.

¤ Make music. Making music is also a good way to help yourself feel better. Drums and other kinds of musical instruments are popular ways of relieving tension and increasing well-being. Perhaps you have an instrument that you enjoy playing, like a harmonica, kazoo, penny whistle, or guitar.

¤ Sing. Singing helps. It fills your lungs with fresh air and makes you feel better. Sing to your- self. Sing at the top of your lungs. Sing when you are driving your car. Sing when you are in the shower. Sing for the fun of it. Sing along with favorite records, tapes, compact discs, or the radio. Sing the favorite songs you remember from your childhood.

Perhaps you can think of some other things you could do that would help you feel better.

The Healing Journey

Begin your healing journey by thinking about how it is you would like to feel. Write it down or tell someone else. In order to promote your own healing, you may want to work on one or several of the following issues that you know would help you to feel better.

¤ Learn to know and appreciate your body. Your body is a miracle. Focus on different parts of your body and how they feel. Think about what that part of your body does for you. Go to your library and review books that teach you about your body and how it works.

¤ Set boundaries and limits that feel right to you. In all relationships you have the right to define your own limits and boundaries so that you feel comfortable and safe. Say “no” to anything you don’t want. For instance, if someone calls you five times a day, you have the right to ask them to call you less often, or even not to call you at all. If someone comes to your home when you don’t want them to be there, you have the right to ask them to leave. Think about what your boundaries are. They may differ from person to person. You may enjoy it a lot when your sister comes to visit, but you may not want a visit from your brother or a cousin. You may not want anyone to call you on the phone after 10 p.m. Expect and insist that others respect your boundaries.

¤ Learn to be a good advocate for yourself. Ask for what you want and deserve. Work toward get- ting what you want and need for yourself. If you want to get more education for yourself so you can do work that you enjoy, find out about available programs, and do what it is you need to do to meet your goal. If you want your physician to help you find the cause of physical problems, insist that he or she do so, or refer you to someone else. When you are making important decisions about your life, like getting or staying married, going back to school, or parenting a child, be sure the decision you make is really in your best interest.

¤ Build your self-esteem. You are a very special and wonderful person. You deserve all the best things that life has to offer. Remind yourself of this over and over again. Go to the library and review books on building your self-esteem. Do some of the suggested activities.

¤ Develop a list of activities that help you feel better (refer to the list in the section “Things you can do to help yourself feel better”). Do some of these activities every day. Spend more time doing these activities when you are feeling badly.

¤ Every family develops certain patterns or ways of thinking about and doing things. Those things you learn in your family as a child will often influence you as an adult—sometimes making your life more difficult and getting in the way of meeting your personal goals. Think about the ways of thinking and doing things that guide you in your life. Ask yourself if they are patterns, and if you need to change them to make your life the way you want it to be. For example, in your family you may have been taught that you never tell anyone certain family secrets. In fact, it may be very important to share some family secrets with trusted friends or health care providers. Or you may have been taught that you must always do what certain members of your family want you to do. As an adult, it is important that you figure out for yourself what it is you want to do. In effect you can become your own loving parent.

¤ Work to establish harmony with your family or the people you live with. Plan fun and interesting activities with them. Listen to them without being critical.

¤ Work on learning to communicate with others so that they can easily understand what you mean. When talking with another person about your feelings, use “I” statements, like “I feel sad” or “I feel upset” rather than accusing the other person. You may want to practice good communication with a friend. Ask your friend to give you feedback on how you can be more easily under- stood.

¤ You may have lots of negative thoughts about yourself and your life. Work on changing these negative thoughts to positive ones. The more you think positive thoughts the better you will feel. For instance, you may always think, “Nobody likes me.” When you think that thought, replace it with a thought like, “I have many friends.” If you often think that you will never feel better, replace that thought with the thought, “Every day I am feeling better and better.”

¤ Develop an action plan for prevention and recovery. This is a simple plan that helps you stay well and respond to upsetting symptoms and events in ways that will keep you feeling well.

 

Using the activities in the section “Things you can do to help yourself feel better,” make lists of things that will help you keep yourself well and will help you to feel better when you are not feeling well. Include lists:

¤ to remind yourself of things you need to do every day – like getting a half hour of exercise and eating three healthy meals – and also those things that you may not need to do every day, but if you miss them they will cause stress in your life, for example, buying food, paying bills, or clean- ing your home;

¤ of events or situations that may make you feel worse if they come up, like a fight with a family member, health care provider, or social worker, getting a big bill, or loss of something important to you. Then list things to do (relax, talk to a friend, play your guitar) if these things happen so you won’t start feeling badly;

¤ of early warning signs that indicate you are starting to feel worse – like always feeling tired, sleeping too much, overeating, dropping things, and losing things. Then list things to do (get more rest, take some time off, arrange an appointment with your counselor, cut back on caffeine) to help yourself feel better;

¤ of signs that things are getting much worse, like you are feeling very depressed, you can’t get out of bed in the morning, or you feel negative about everything. Then list things to do that will help you feel better quickly (get someone to stay with you, spend extra time doing things you enjoy, contact your doctor); and

¤ of information that can be used by others if you become unable to take care of yourself or keep yourself safe, such as signs that indicate you need their help, who you want to help you (give copies of this list to each of these people), the names of your doctor, counselor and pharmacist, all prescriptions and over-the-counter medications, things that others can do that would help you feel better or keep you safe, and things you do not want others to do or that might make you feel worse.

Barriers to Healing

Are there any things you are doing that are getting in the way of your healing, such as alcohol or drug abuse, being in abusive or unsupportive relationships, self-destructive behaviors such as blaming and shaming your- self, and not taking good care of yourself? Think about the possible negative consequences of these behaviors. For instance, if you get drunk, you might lose control of yourself and the situation and be taken advantage of. If you overeat, the negative consequences might be weight gain, poor body image, and poor health. You may want to work on changing these behaviors by using self-help books, working with a counselor, joining a support group, or attending a 12-step program.

Moving Forward on Your Healing Journey

If you are now about to begin working on recovering from the effects of trauma, or if you have already begun this work and are planning to continue making some changes based on what you have learned, you will need courage and persistence along the way. You may experience setbacks. From time to time you may get so discouraged that you feel like you want to give up. This happens to everyone. Notice how far you’ve come. Appreciate even a little progress. Do something nice for yourself and continue your efforts. You deserve an enjoyable life. Always keep in mind that there are many people, even famous people, who have had traumatic things happen to them. They have worked to relieve the symptoms of this trauma and have gone on to lead happy and re- warding lives. You can too.

For additional help and resources, please contact the Georgia Recovery Project @ georgiarecoveryproject@yahoo.com or 706-225-9262. Be sure to check us out on Facebook @ www.facebook.com/georgiarecoveryproject

Acknowledgements

This publication was funded by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS), Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), Center for Mental Health Services (CMHS), and prepared by Mary Ellen Copeland, M.S., M.A., under contract number 99M005957. Acknowledgment is given to the many mental health consumers who worked on this project offering advice and suggestions.

Disclaimer

The opinions expressed in this document reflect the personal opinions of the author and are not intended to represent the views, positions or policies of CMHS, SAMHSA, DHHS, or other agencies or offices of the Federal Government.

 

A How-to Guide for Disaster Survivors

Tips for Survivors of a Natural Disaster

The effect of a disaster or traumatic event goes fay beyond its immediate devastation. Just as it takes time to reconstruct damaged buildings, it takes time to grieve and rebuild our lives. Life may not return to normal for several months, or even years, following a natural disaster or traumatic event. There may be changes in living conditions that cause changes in day-to-day activities, leading to strains in relationships, changes in expectations, and shifts in responsibilities. These disruptions in relationships, roles, and routines can life unfamiliar or unpredictable.

Things to Remember When Trying to Understand Disaster Events

• No one who experiences a disaster is untouched by it
• It is normal to feel anxious about you and your family’s safety
• Profound sadness, grief, and anger are common reactions to an abnormal event
• Acknowledging our feelings helps us recover
• Focusing on your strengths and abilities will help you heal
• Accepting help from community programs and resources is healthy
• We each have different needs and different ways of coping
• It is common to want to strike back at people who have caused great pain. However, nothing good is accomplished by hateful language or actions

Signs that Stress Management Assistance is Needed

• Disorientation or confusion and difficulty communicating thoughts
• Limited attention span and difficulty concentrating
• Becoming easily frustrated
• Depression, sadness, and feelings of hopelessness
• Mood swings and crying easily
• Difficulty maintaining balance
• Headaches/stomach problems
• Tunnel vision/muffled hearing
• Cold or flu-like symptoms
• Difficulty sleeping
• Poor work performance
• Reluctance to leave home
• Fear of crowds, strangers or being alone
• Increased use of drugs/alcohol

Ways to Ease the Stress

• Talk with someone about your feelings (anger, sorrow, and other emotions) even though it may be difficult
• Don’t hold yourself responsible for the disastrous event or be frustrated because you feel that you cannot help directly in the rescue work.
• Take steps to promote your own physical and emotional healing by staying active in your daily life patterns or by adjusting them. A healthy approach to life (e.g., healthy eating, rest, exercise, relaxation, meditation) will help both you and your family.

What to Expect in Your Personal, Family, Work, and Financial Life

• Overwhelming guilt and self-doubt
• Maintain a normal household and daily routine, limiting demanding responsibilities of yourself and your family
• Spend time with family and friends
• Participate in memorials, rituals, and the use of symbols as a way to express feelings
• Use existing support groups of family, friends, and spiritual/religious outlets
• Establish a family emergency plan. It can be comforting to know that there is something you can do

A disaster or traumatic event can have far-reaching effects in several major area of our lives, making rebuilding our emotional lives extremely difficult. However, sometimes just knowing what to expect can help ease the transition back to a normal life. As you and your family begin to rebuild your lives, you may face any or all of the situations described below.

Personal Uncertainties

• Feeling mentally drained and physically exhausted is common
• The loss of a home, business, or income may result in displacement and confusion about the future
• Unresolved emotional issues or pre-existing problems and previous losses may resurface
• Anniversaries of the disaster or traumatic event remind us of our losses. This reaction may be triggered by the event date each month and may be especially strong on the yearly anniversary of the event.

Family Relationship Changes

• Relationships may become stressed when everyone’s emotions are heightened, and conflicts with spouses and other family members may increase.
• When homes are destroyed or damaged, families may have to live in temporary housing or with relatives and friends, leading to overcrowding and added tension.
• Family members or friends may be forced to move out of the area, disrupting relationships and usual support systems.
• Parents may be physically or emotionally unavailable to their children following a natural disaster or traumatic event, because they are busy cleaning up or are preoccupied, distracted, or distressed by difficulties related to the event.
• Parents may become overprotective of their children and their children’s safety.
• Children may be expected to take on more adult roles, such as watching siblings or helping with cleanup efforts, leaving less time to spend with friends or participate in routine activities, such as summer camps or field trips.

Work Disruptions

• Fatigue and increased stress from preoccupation with personal issues can lead to poor work performance.
• Conflicts with co-workers may increase, because of the added stress.
• Businesses may be forced to lay off employees, or company work hours and wages may be cut.
• Reduced income may require taking a second job.
• Daily travel and commute patterns may be disrupted, because of the loss of a car or road reconstruction.

Financial Worries

• Those who experience work disruptions may be unable to regain their previous standard of living, leading to financial concerns and unpaid bills.
• Seeking financials assistance to rebuild and repair damages adds to the already high levels of stress caused by the disaster or traumatic event, and the hassles of dealing with a bureaucracy can add to the frustration.

How to Be a Survivor

Regardless of individual circumstances, everyone needs to complete several steps to recovery from a disaster or traumatic event.

• Accept the reality of loss
• Allow yourself and other family members to feel sadness and grief over what has happened
• Adjust to a new environment. Acknowledge that the person or possessions are gone forever.
• Put closure to the situation and move on. Do not continue to let the loss take its physical, emotional, or spiritual toll.
• Have faith in better times to come.

You and your family have survived a traumatic event. That doesn’t mean your lives are over or that you don’t deserve to be happy again. Return to doing things you enjoy with friends and as a family. Reestablish the routines of your life. Make Commitments and keep them.

If you or a member of your family still has trouble coping, ask for help. Consult a counselor or mental health professional. In the workplace, you may be able to get assistance from your human resources department or your company’s Employee Assistance Program. For help with financial matters, contact a financial advisor.

For additional help and resources, please contact the Georgia Recovery Project @ georgiarecoveryproject@yahoo.com or 706-225-9262. Be sure to check us out on Facebook @ www.facebook.com/georgiarecoveryproject